Fake it to Make it

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” 

― Thich Nhat Hanh

If you haven’t read about Amy Cuddy I think you will find her work super interesting!

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/21/fashion/amy-cuddy-takes-a-stand-TED-talk.html

She talks about how our posture effects our physical chemistry.   It’s fascinating.   There are many studies to back up her observations.  In fact, studies have shown that a 2 minute power pose (ie:  standing like Wonder Woman) can decrease cortisol (the stress hormone) and increase testosterone significantly.   The result is decreasing potential for nearly every health concern while increasing your confidence and esteem.    

I believe that this is one of the reasons that yoga is extremely beneficial.   In our practice we focus on strength in posture and alignment.   Imagine what an hour of yoga does for our chemistry - not to mention the unravelling and unkinking of our muscular system.   

top 5 ways to avoid under appreciation:

My top 5 ways to avoid feeling under appreciated:  

1)    Whatever you do, do it for YOU.

Whether you’re talking about your job, chores around the house, whatever.  

If it’s worth doing, do it.  If not reconsider.  

2)    Do unto others.

If you want to be treated with appreciation remember to show appreciation. 

-      take stock in your own behaviors. 

Share your positive thoughts.

         The response will be amazing. 

If someone does something to make your life more pleasant always acknowledge them.

 

If you like someone’s shoes, smile, work ethic, etc., express your admiration.

3)    Appreciate yourself.

Know your own love language.

“The Five Love Languages” is a phenomenally interesting book by Gary Chapman.  In it he outlines the 5 ways to express and experience love.   It’s a super approachable method for building awareness so that we can have stronger and healthier experiences with the people in our lives.   

Remember the relationship you have with yourself.   
By fostering a healthy relationship within, through self love, 
you actually build a more solid – and less needy – foundation 
to experience relationship with others. 

Use your new awareness of your own needs to reward yourself.  

4)    You can’t always get what you want.

But if you try real hard, you just might find, you get what you need. 

It’s true.  Learn to live in contentment. 

When you catch yourself complaining stop … that’s all, just stop.

5)    Master the art of gratitude

Gratitude is a mental state.  You have to make the decision.   I don’t believe that anyone is born truly grateful.  It’s a practice to be revisited many times a day.

Love is everywhere!

Positivity for Health and Happiness (one more on Ahimsa)

“Much more surprising things can happen to anyone who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable, determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place.”

― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

To me one of the most awful forms of harm comes from the thoughts we allow to run rampant and the words we use carelessly.

When I was in my 20’s I had epic poor self esteem.    I had to retake an entire semester of chemistry lab in college because I was so scared to work with a partner.   What if they thought I was stupid?  What if, what if, what if????  How many of us have failed at something because we couldn’t be supportive of ourselves?

 

Many of us battle the brain with our esteem.   But just like asana (physical practice of yoga), running or any other skill, success comes with conscious practice.   We have to begin with developing awareness of our thoughts.    The awareness is the beginning but as we begin to notice our thoughts we need to become our own mediator.   It’s like inviting the voice of reason into your own head …. Only YOU are your own voice of reason!  

When you catch yourself thinking something negative or cruel, whether toward yourself, life in general or the knucklehead who just cut you off in traffic; simply replace the thought with one more positive.   It works, but sometimes you have to be earnest because those nasty thoughts are often strong willed.   Be your own peacemaker.   If you’re worried you’ll fail, remind yourself of your other successes.   If someone takes the parking spot you were waiting for tell yourself they must really be having a bad day.  It’s not completely for them; it’s for you!   Don’t ruin your day with the negative energy.

Think of the Olympic sprinter on the starting line.   Do you think she allows herself a leisurely self-deprecating thought?   Absolutely not.   Every successful athlete, every successful business person has trained their mind to stay clear and confident.   Many athletes go to sports psychologists to learn to keep their mind in the game and even visualize the win.   Negative thoughts at the starting line can cost them the win.   Negative thoughts cost us our health and happiness.  

If you find yourself slipping down that spiral into mental doom please know that perspective is a choice.   Replace your thoughts with something kind.   If you aren’t buying it right away repeat a positive mantra (it doesn’t have to be out loud) … “I am _____  and ____”.    Fill it in; be bold.   “I am smart and capable.”   Repeat it 10 times.   See what happens.  

Bonus:

Here’s a great article describing the actual effects of negative and positive thought on our physical heath:

http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/health/thoughts-emotions/how-do-thoughts-emotions-impact-health

Non-Violence as a path to peace - Just a super small perspective, an intro.

Ahimsa

This is a hot topic in the yoga world.  

Ahimsa is translated as “non-harming” or “the avoidance of violence”.   I don’t think I’ve seen or heard any other translation.   The controversy in yoga has been in translation of the translation.   Some are very black and white in how they see and apply while many of us live in a vibrant but grey world in the middle.  And since yoga is much about finding the middle, this is where I reside.

I began teaching yoga in 2003.  My first 200 hour teacher training was very general.  It covered an array of styles, philosophy and techniques.   It did not give me an answer to the question people kept asking me “what kind of yoga do you teach?” At the time I felt unsure of myself as a solo teacher.  My response was to take workshops, trainings and read books from every school and style I could find.   I wanted to find my yoga “family”.    Haha.  I was the little bird from Doctor Suess “Are You My Mother?”

One of the books I read was Jivanmukti Yoga by the creators of Jivanmukti Yoga Sharon Gannon and David Life.    I was loving the start of this extremely well written publication and then I read the chapter on Ahimsa and my mind was blown.   They claim that if you are not a vegetarian, you are NOT a yogi.   “Some people, many who profess to be yogis, argue that vegetarianism is not a healthful diet for everyone.  We agree that vegetarianism is not for everybody; it is only for those who desire happiness and peace.”  They go on to say “yoga is not for everyone”.   I disagree; I believe that yoga is for everyone!  I felt and feel that this was an incredibly extreme and harmful view.  But, that’s my opinion.   For some people this black and white thinking may be just what they need. 

With a few million devout followers still in India, Jainism is one of the oldest surviving religions in the world.   (you can read about them at http://www.ejainism.com/whatisjainism.html)  Jainism teaches that the way to liberation and bliss is to live a life of harmlessness and renunciation.   Jains have what I have seen as the most austere approach to ahimsa.   While I see it as harsh and ascetic, I also see a beautiful devotion in their way of deciphering and living these teachings.  

As I have said in previous post I am all about cherry picking, which is the art of being open minded and applying the best or most desirable.   Not all teachings from thousands of years ago apply to my life in 2015.  (Are you still wearing that polyester leisure suit?) I have seen photos of Jain nuns wearing gauze over their faces to prevent them from accidentally inhaling and therefore killing flying insects.   This just doesn’t fit my lifestyle OR my view point.   I don’t think what works for one necessarily works for another.  

I am not going to take this into a discussion of what people should or should not include in their diet.  You can google “humans herbivore, omnivore or carnivore”.  I guarantee you will find countless articles on why humans SHOULD or SHOULDN’T be one of these groups.   I don’t believe it’s that simple.   The Jains and Jivanmuktis might find me crazy but I don’t think what we eat will reflect in our state of enlightenment or bliss.  I will concede that wasteful or careless treatment of any food product can be seen as violent and therefore harmful to not only our society but to our conscience.  I believe that our ability to think beyond ourselves and make careful and caring choices will make a difference.  

Ahimsa goes so far beyond meat or no meat in our diet. 

Like all the Yamas, Ahimsa applies to actions, words and thoughts.  

Actions are generally easy to recognize.   Words and thoughts are super key to our state of being.   How sweet would it be if we never had mean or negative thoughts?!  As humans when we see or hear something, it seems to be stuck in our minds forever.   So it is normal for thoughts we don’t enjoy to pop up into our minds. 

How we deal with this is the beginning of peace.  

This could go on forever.   For now, I let this go.  Please let me hear your kind and considerate reflections.  

Yamas & Niyamas: The Do's & Don'ts for a Life Well Lived

So, if you have studied yoga for any amount of time you probably have heard of the Yamas and Niyamas.   They are sometimes referred to somewhat flippantly as the 10 commandments of yoga.   That’s an oversimplification I think, but it may get the general point across.  I hope you can see something useful in the teaching.

Patanjali compiled the foundational text for classic yoga known as the Yoga Sutras (approx.. 400CE).   In this book he has created a composite of philosophical beliefs from many pre-existing sources.   Interestingly what made his work mind-blowingly radical is that before the Yoga Sutras, this type of philosophical study was not available for the everyday person.   To study philosophy and spirituality at that time you had to be from a higher class.  Patanjali brought this deep thought to the people.

In his sutras he describes the Eight Limbs of Yoga, the first & second of which are the Yamas and Niyamas.   This could be called a list of do’s and don’ts  for a life well lived.  

The Yamas are the universal observences.   This is the list of 5 rules in engaging with the world outside ourselves.   I once heard a teacher refer to the yamas as the don’ts & the niyamas as the do’s.  I wish I could remember who taught it this way.  I like it.  Simple.

They are

         Ahimsa — Sanskrit for "non-harming" – (don’t hurt anyone)

         Satya — Sanskrit for "refraining from dishonesty" (don’t lie)

         Asteya — Sanskrit for "non-stealing" (don’t take it if it’s not yours)

         Brahmacharya — Sanskrit for "wise use of sexual energy" (don’t waste your mojo – let me add that this isn’t entirely about sex)

Aparigraha — Sanskrit for "non-possessiveness" (don’t be greedy)

The Niyamas are the personal restraints.  These describe how to behave and mind your thoughts toward yourself.  

         Saucha — Sanskrit for "purity" (do: keep your mind, body and space tidy)

         Santosha— Sanskrit for "contentment" (do: be satisfied)

         Tapas— Sanskrit for "self-discipline" (do: live your life with a burning enthusiasm)

         Svadhyaya — Sanskrit for "self-study" (do: cultivate a self reflective consciousness, create understanding & awareness)

Ishvara pranidhana — Sanskrit for "surrender to a higher source”   (do: create meaning in your life by connecting to a higher power)

Over the course of my study I have read many translations of the Sutras.  There are countless articles on the Sutras.  I have been lucky to hear a variety of incredible yoga teachers and philosophy professors discuss them.  There are endless ways to decode these teachings and make them an incredibly useful tool in perspective.  

(remember cherry picking)

Please let me know what you think.  I look forward to discussing my personal take on how these teachings keep my heart open and my life more joyful.